Saturday, April 12, 2014

"What Way Would You Run?"

My Sister sent me this link below and as I read the title of it my heart sank and my eyes filled up with tears. With hesitation I opened the link knowing what I was going to be watching.

It’s about two sisters who lost their husbands. Their stories are Similar to mine and my sisters.
Nate&Holly Blaylock & Caroline & Nick Longshore
click link below

Life in the Blaylock home was wonderful. I was a young mother and 26 years old with four little children and married a wonderful man and had been married for 8 years.  Life was good. Shortly after giving birth of our fourth child, I received a phone call that made my life complete change. My husband of 8 years and the father of my four little children had been involved in a tragic accident.
One of the girls states in the video clip, “What would you have to lose to lose heart? What would it take to turn your back on God? Or loosing everything that turns you back to God?” .

Another good quote from the video clip is, “Should I run to God or run away from him?  And then I realized He won my heart as angry as I was I could not deny his love for me and He knew my heart He too was grieving for me”
I could not say that any better. This is exactly how I felt. Even though I had so many reasons to be angry with God for taking my husband away, I knew I could not give up on Him because I needed Him to help me in my most darkest moments, I needed to feel His love for me, and now being so young and widowed and with four small children I needed Him more than ever.
I chose to run to Him, and because I was obedient and kept my faith in God and did not develop anger towards Him, I believe I was blessed for my choice to run to Him. I found another amazing man and I married him and was blessed to add to our family his two children and then a year later we welcomed our first baby together in to this world. So we are a family of nine. I am grateful I ran to God, because of that I have and still continue to receive blessings from Him for making the right choice.
There is another statement one of the women makes and it is “There has been years of healing, and God is good, and He makes all things new”- And when she says that, she puts her arms around her new husband and is standing in a kitchen with her family. For me, this statement couldn’t hit closer to home. Even with a broken heart, with time He can make things new and bring joy again. I am a perfect example of that. Here is my biggest blessing for running to him and not away.

My family 2014
David & Holly Dickson
Children- Parker 9, Jacob 9, Joshua 8,Gracie 6,Ethan 5, Grace,2 Abigail 4 months


Fast forward 2.5 years – My sister’s husband gets into a tragic accident by my house and he passed away in the room next to where my husband died. It brought back so many emotions and terrible feelings. Our husbands both passed away in similar accidents but 2.5 years apart.  Caroline and I are in two different places of the healing process. Even though we both have lost the ultimate loss, we are in two different stages of life. Here is my sister Caroline's thoughts on her "new"  life and new trials that she now faces.

Caroline and I share matching Thumbies- which are our husband's thumb prints on a necklace.

I honestly feel a little silly saying that I have chosen to be happy; why? Because it has only been about five months since Nick died and sixteen months since Colton died.  I haven’t had enough time to choose anything really.  The only thing that I have chosen is to not let this trial destroy me and whether that means to be happy or just content, I don’t know yet. What I do know for sure is that my Heavenly Father has a plan, and He knows better than I.  As life goes on and experiences come and go, I always learn the same lesson over and over…that I will see my family again.

                I just gave birth to the most beautiful girl in the entire world.  She makes life worth living again and I need her more than she needs me.  Heavenly Father takes but he also gives.  I have so much to learn about being a mother here on earth but I will get the hang of it eventually.  Another thing that I do know is that I have not been this happy in sixteen months. I was sitting on the couch the other day with my mom and mother in law and I was holding Hannah, and I looked around and just for a second my heart didn’t ache so badly.  Choices start with recognizing those small moments of bliss and happiness, and then we can decide if that is what we want and how to get those moments back into our lives.  It isn’t as easy as it sounds though; it takes time and a willingness to understand the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Happiness takes work, a lot of work, but Heavenly Father would never make it impossible he wants it so badly for us.  Choices start with prayer and a communication with those you cannot see, but feel.  Then making choices aren’t so hard anymore and being happy isn’t a chore, it will come and you will understand His master plan that He has for you.

Caroline & Hannah Longshore 2014

 " Some blessing's come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven: but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come" -Jeffrey R. Holland 

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