Halloween 2011

4 little blessings!

8 years down and eternity to go...

I celebrated our anniversary on October 26,2011. We have been happily married for 8 years. I took an Anniversary card and put it in Nate's mail box and spent an hour or so laying next to him. It was a very hard day. I am the luckiest girl in the world to call Nate my eternal companion.

Parker starts Wrestling

Parker has starting wrestling and he is really enjoying it! I think it will really help with all the sadness he is going through. Nate and him would wrestle every night, and Parker has expressed to me he misses wrestling. I know I can't make everything go back to normal.. but I can try to put a smile on his face. He had his first meet and he won 3rd place in his division.

Letters to Daddy & Letters to Nate

We have a mailbox set up where Nate is. I hope and pray that friends and family will put letters in there for Nate. I will periodically empty out the mail box and save those letters and put them in his hope chest. I know that my kids alone will be filling up the mailbox. I would love to see other people's letters in there and I would love to save them and put them in his memory book labeled "Letter's to Nate" His headstone is still a month away from being finished and I am looking forward to it being done. My heart is full and I want to do anything I can to make him proud. He choose me to be his wife and the mother of his children. I am so proud of Nate and all he accomplished. He is a wonderful dad and the best husband any girl could ever ask for. My goal in life is to make him proud and to raise his sweet children the way he would want me to.

Grace gets blessed

Grace was blessed Aug. 10,2011. She was being held by Nate and blessed by her grandpa Blaylock and our bishop and her Uncle Chris. Nate had his hands on her head and I know when Nate's dad was giving her the blessing Nate's spirit was telling his dad what to say. The words of the blessing were coming straight from Nate but spoken by her grandpa. I am so grateful Nate was able to be there for his daughters blessing. We blessed her on Nate's lap in the hospital. Nate was still with us and we all felt him very strong in that room. Here is a picture that I have of my hand holding Nate's hand on her head during the blessing.

Why...?

Why did Nate have to leave a wife and 4 kids and return to our Heavenly Father?
Why did he have to leave his 5 week old new baby girl?
Why did he have to leave 3 little boys who think the world of him?
Why did he have to leave a wife who thought he could do everything and anything?
Why did he leave me to all of our responsibilities?
Why did he leave a place we called our home?
Why did he leave me to tackle all the unknowns that are to come?
Why did he leave me to answer all the heartbreaking questions that are to come my way with his 4 children?
Why did he leave before he was able to see his boys get the priesthood and go off on to missions?
Why did he leave before dancing with his little girl on her wedding day?
Why did he leave me alone in bed every night?

I have only one answer.. It's because it's Gods plan.
I know he will be here in spirit to all of these things I have listed above. I know Nate would not miss out on any of theses important events to come.
The last few weeks have been something I would never wish upon anyone. My worst fear of loosing my husband has happened. I know we have a long road ahead of us, but with courage and strength, I know Nate will lead our family back to him. What a wonderful day that will be to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him again. I know our family is forever.
I have no choice but to Succeed with the 4 special gifts Nate gave to me. I hope I can make him proud. And I just have to keep reminding my self when I am having a hard day that this is god's plan.